Archive for April, 2017

20th April 2017

“Be happy, be strong my darling. Stay happy. And please forgive me I won’t be able to be there for you anymore. ” Michelle knows that her 5 year old daughter will b left all alone with a cheating father, an ailing grand mother and nobody else! Her mind is screaming out to her” Don’t do this…look at your child, she needs you! ” but her heart has the supremacy right now at this weak moment. Michelle’s heart is aching so bad that she wants it to stop beating …forever! 

Michelle looks up at the ceiling – a strong rope with an amateur type of knot forming a noose is dangling from the ceiling fan. The table is already set at the right place . She climbs the table,checks the knots and tries to tighten them just to be doubly sure , then Michelle puts her head in the noose and looks down at her daughter. Her tiny tot is gazing back at her innocently not understanding why her mom is crying and doing such weird stuff. It was scaring the hell out of her. “Mom please don’t cry. What are you doing? Why are you on the table with that rope around your neck ?” Michelle doesn’t know what to say. She musters all that is left in her and decides to be direct ” I’m going very far far away my luv, I’m going to die sweetheart” As soon as her words were registered in the little ones mind the look of bewilderment vanished and was replaced by sheer panic and hurt. Michelle knew she has to do this now or else she won’t be able to do it again….. ever! And she would end up suffering all through her life due to her husbands torture , all the abuses, cheating ,beating etc etc. So she quickly closes her eyes and says “I love you sweety … always …forever ” and kicks the table off! To her surprise nothing happens….. she looks down with tears dropping to the ground and Michelle sees her little daughter holding onto the tiny table with all her strength. “Mom please don’t die, I love you , please don’t leave me and go, I’m sorry if I have made you feel unloved . I really really love you a lot please come down Mom please!”she says desperately trying to keep the table in its position with one hand and stretching out her other little hand for her mother to reach.Tears are rolling down her face over her neck but she is not budging from her place lest she looses her mom! “Mummy please!” 

Michelle looks into her daughters eyes and she sees love, resilience, fear all at the same time. She quickly removes the noose from her neck, gets down from the table and hugs her daughter ” sorry my sweety please forgive me !” To which the tiny one says ” only if you promise me you will never leave me again …ever. Promise?!” Michelle promises….

That day, that moment Michelle understood that there can be no love greater than your child’s love , no strength greater than your child’s  will power and no truth truer than your child’s honest look in the eye!


## 19th April 2017
Thank u….

For all d love u have given 

For all d care u have shown

For all d lessons u have taught me…..

I’m only getting stronger, bolder n more independent minded.

Thank u for all that u have done for me for all these years! 
Yesterday you beat d crap out of me just on the pretext that I got angry on our kid and I gave her one tap on her shoulder ! 

My entire left hand , shoulder,neck n even left side of my back was hurting so bad, I couldn’t move my left hand at all! But never mind except for 1 sorry( which u didn’t even look at me while saying it). u drank your whisky to glory n slept off on the kitchen floor from yesterday afternoon till night. Didn’t bother a bit about my state. That’s not a surprise since u have always been like dis. U have always felt happy by hurting me. I would fail to see it before, blinded by my love towards you but not anymore. Now I can clearly see what a monster you are!

Despite of me trying to overcome the pain you have given me by fucking all those whores in all those countries over n over again for 15 times in 3 years, you treat me like this! 

Despite of me trying to pick up the broken pieces of my soul and move on with you , I’m beaten by you!

U know what – I think I’m done. I give up!

I’m not going to walk away from this marriage but if you miss your screwing around with those foreign whores you are free to walk away. I wont stop you , I won’t mourn you, I Won’t call u back…. not this time!